title: Peanut Butter
author: lilallisun
pairing: Thirteen/Cuddy
rating: PG
summary: Thirteen is both fighting and trying to accept the way she is.
author notes: Reviews are very much appreciated. =) cross-posted to house_slash and housefemslash.

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LOL + happy friday

“I don’t think you realize how serious this is.”
“I’m sorry if I fail to think of this as serious.”
“You’re not sorry at all!”
“Oh boy, you caught me.”
“This is impossible.”
“What is impossible, exactly?”
“Trying to talk to you.”
“No, you’re trying to admonish me. For something stupid and pointless.”
“These shoes are expensive, House.”
“They were expensive. Until I wrecked them.”
“So you admit it!”
“I didn’t say I wrecked them on purpose. It was an accident.”
“This is the part where you complain like the nagging housewife you are.”
“This is the part where I throw these shoes at you!!”
“I don’t know if those can even be classified as shoes anymore.”
“Can you explain to me how you managed set my shoes on fire?”
“Well you see, there was this hooker-”
“Fuck you, House.”
“If you want. Save me some money. Not to mention innocent footwear.”

(no subject)

Wow, has it been five months since my last entry?! Geez and crackers, that's insane. It makes me realize how quickly the NEXT five months are going to go by. It'll be... June. I'll be graduating. And then I'll be spending the summer getting ready to leave.
Yeah so, you know how I was thinking about going on exchange? Well, I am. I went through the HELLISH application process, and was accepted. And then over Christmas break I found out that I got my first choice country- Belgium! Very excited about that.
So yeah. Just thought I'd give my poor journal an update about that.

(no subject)

Circuitry of the Wolf & Routine
Rating: PG-13, abouts? maybe? no big deal.
Fandom: The 10th Kingdom
Disclaimer: Not mine! Just borrowing!
Char/Pair: Wolf/Virginia
Words: 152 and 156. (so 308 total! ^_^)
A/N: Two Wolf/Virginia drabbles. The 10th Kingdom, in case you didn't know, is an amazing mini-series movie-type thing that I am recently obsessed with. The first drabble's title is taken from a song by Mew.

Circuitry of the Wolf

He doesn't want to eat her.

That's what he tells himself while he lies awake at night, watching her sleep. She sleeps so peacefully, so quietly perfect and gorgeous. She is everything in sleep that she is in wakefulness, only suspended in time and breathing softly with eyes closed. Her hair is almost always sticking up in some which way, and he supresses the urge to smooth it down because he doesn't want to wake her.

He supresses a lot of urges.

So he indulges, just this once, and reaches out to stroke her hair. She stirs and he can't help but lick his lips before her eyes open and immediately find his gaze.

"Good morning?" she whispers tentatively, because it's dark and she doesn't know why she's awake.

He loves her voice and the colour of her eyes.

Gently nipping at the tip of her nose, he murmurs, "Very good, yes."


Virginia and Wolf have a routine. During the full moon he stays locked in the bedroom with plenty of food to keep him (his stomach) company. She waits around the apartment and tries to keep quiet. She goes to work, but can never concentrate (all she sees is him).

When he yells and cries, she curls up on the couch and clutches a blanket to herself and tries desperately to stop herself from going in there with him. She always stays put because he made her promise (she's afraid).

Soon enough (finally) he quiets down and begins to recover. Immediately after he's better she unlocks the door and they spend the rest of that day in bed (making love for as long as they can). He is especially gentle with her then, and kisses every inch of her as if to assure her that he's harmless and will never, ever hurt her (on purpose).
  • Current Mood

Until You Lose the Road

Title: Until You Lose the Road
Pairing: H/W
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Post "Whac-A-Mole". Title from "How to Save a Life" by The Fray.

Wilson calls him that night. He doesn’t say anything for the first two minutes, but House knows it’s him.

He is about to hang up when Wilson finally speaks.

“I don’t think you understand.” The voice is quiet and exhausted, and House catches a hint of pleading.

“Understand what? That you feel betrayed? Spare me.”

“I don’t think you understand how much this… Jesus. I can’t even-”

Normally, House would make a remark about Wilson being Jewish. Tonight is not normal.

Thinking of how disgustingly not normal this is makes House want to throw the phone across the room, and Wilson with it. None of this should be happening.

“If you can’t tell me, I must not really need to know.”

He needs to end this conversation. He needs to not fucking care anymore.

“I don’t care if you need to know! I need to say it!” Wilson is starting to sound desperate now.

“So say it and stop wasting my time.”

“That’s just it! Wasting your time? Is that really all I-” he chokes on the words and tries again, “Is that really all I am, t-to you?”

House can’t see him, but Wilson’s voice is screaming of unshed tears. How did Wilson move from anger to anguish? House can imagine him sitting with his head in his hands. His eyes would be shut tightly against anything other than his personal emotional hell. Turmoil that House has so lovingly provided for him.

Wilson doesn’t even wait for an answer, because he knows that no answer will ever come.

“But that’s not why I c-called.” There is a pause. Wilson is probably wiping frantically at his eyes. “I know you care on some level because you’re feeling guilty but that might just be plain old guilt, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, I just wanted- I just needed to-”

“Needed to what?” House asks, impatient. This rambling, insecure Wilson is gnawing at his conscience, and it hurts in an unfamiliar way.

Wilson has never cried for him before.

“To tell you something. I- I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but I wanted to tell you. I know you- I know you don’t c-care, but…” House hears him stumbling over the words, and the sound is so strange that House cringes. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, I don’t, I just want you to know. You’re such a fucking asshole, and I don’t know why I keep… keep thinking about it! Because you don’t care, so I shouldn’t care, but I do, and I don’t want to keep caring like this! I shouldn’t just keep… loving you, like this.”

And there they are. The words that House never expected to hear, and yet he is not at all surprised, somehow, to hear them.

“But I wanted you to know I won’t ever… stop. I should; I want to. But I won’t. I just… can’t. Not that it matters to you. Your guilt would probably feel better if I could stop loving you. But maybe somewhere, it matters, and that’s why I called.”

There is another long pause. House wonders if it does matter, and decides that he can’t bring himself to really find out.

“I’m sorry,” Wilson says softly.

And House isn’t, so he hangs up.

But It Was- drabble

Title: But It Was
Rating: PG
Pairing: bit of House/Wilson
Word Count: 214
Spoilers: None really... won't make any sense if you haven't seen recent episodes, but doesn't go into specifics.
Notes: Angsty fun. Little drabble I wrote today during study hall. Homework? Forget that noise.

He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it. All of his time was spent pretending it never happened.

It never happened. There was no glimpse of hope, no glimmering sight of a future that held almost everything he had once had. It was not torturous; it did not haunt him as he tried to sleep at night. His nights were not spent staring at a ceiling that he could not see.

He insisted that he was the same as he was before.

Nothing had been lost, except for the sweet, teasing taste of a normal life. He didn’t feel cheated. He wasn’t angry.

He was still slightly pissed at his best friend for lying to him, but he was getting over it.

He did not chase away the worry that his friend had been right. He was not secretly thankful and simultaneously resentful of the man’s interventions. The amount of tension and discomfort in their conversations didn't agonize him.

He refused to accept that he could have a problem.

He didn’t feel lost or confused. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to punch Wilson in the face or call out for him or kiss him. He was never buried so deeply in his own thoughts that he couldn’t imagine ever being free. The physical was never overwhelming.
The pain was never too much.

Know It's True- a House/Wilson fanmix

I have made another fanmix! I've probably spent 6+ hours on this, and I'm very happy to finally have it finished and ready to post. :D
In case it matters to you, I put quite a bit of thought into the order of the songs; they tell a story. (At least to me! Please interpret it however you like. I'd like to hear what you get from it.)
So... please comment to tell me that you downloaded it or if you liked it or just whatever you think of it. (wooooo feedback! i'm pretty sure that everyone here agrees with me on that.)


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1. Straight To Hell- Gisli
The drugs don't thrill me, and my life's about to kill me and I'm pretty sure I'll end up all alone

I'm gonna be drunk, and flat broke
I'm gonna be tired old and bitter, and really messed up

Cause this behavior, is gonna get me nowhere, but straight to hell

2. Sometimes- James
Sometimes, when I look deep in your eyes, I swear I can see your soul

3. Another One Goes By- The Walkmen
Don't know what to offer you
I'm only broke and lonely
And another one goes, and another one goes by
Sometimes when I walk outside I see it right in front of me and so
And another one goes by

4. Heaven Forbid- The Fray
Heaven forbid you end up
Alone and don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow,
You'll be alright.

It feels good.
Is that reason enough for you?

5. Do It Alone- Sugarcult
I don't want to do it alone
I'm beggin you
I don't want to do it, do it, do this all alone

We can dance in your bedroom with no romance
I got time just to waste if you would be my new escape

6. Know It's True- Evermore
Moonlight shines down in rays
Fire I see in your gaze

And I know it’s true, believe it too, can feel it too
And it’s clear to me, no fantasy, reality

7. Stay- Small Sins
And when the right time comes,
Ill be what youve grown to hate,
Like your high school crush,
Made you pass your papers in late.

Well you can stay if you want to,
But you cant sleep in my bed

8. Hundred- The Fray
It's hard I must confess
I'm banking on the rest to clear away
'Cause we have spoken everything
Everything short of I love you.

You right where you are,
From right where I am,
Somewhere between
Unsure and a hundred.

And who's to say it's wrong
And who's to say that it's not right
Where we should be for now.

9. Special- Mew
You're special
You're like a rocket through me
Ohh, you're special
You're a rocket to me
And I cannot this time

You can't say no
This time you will go

*"Agarina" apparently means "come on in" in Japanese.

10. Flying High- Jem
You can’t know, oh no
you can’t know
how much I think about you, no
It’s making my head spin
Looking at you
and you are looking at me
and we both know what we want
hmmm, so close to giving in

Feel so nice
oh yeah you feel so nice
wish I could spend the night
but I can’t pay the price
oh no, no

11. Look After You- The Fray
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

12. City of Love- Persephone's Bees
I see the darkness in your eyes
I taste darkness in your eyes
I'm headin' to the city of love
Blue city of love
Strange city of love

13. Fall At Your Feet- Magnet
I guess things will never seem the same again
'Cause without you I’m like a torch without a flame
Not a case of fair or unfair, not a case of truth or dare
But your nerve of steel is gonna make me kneel,
and it’s how I feel when

You sing like an angel,
and I fall at your feet

Zip file- Songs and cover art. (fixed!)

EDIT: I am quite sorry, lovelies! I knew that some of you wouldn't be able to play the songs, and I just kind of... forgot about it. Soooo tomorrow I'll try putting the songs on a CD and then back on my computer and hopefully that will work just fine. So if you wouldn't mind waiting until tomorrow night, that would be really cool. :D
Okay guys, I fixed the file! They're all mp3 so you should be able to play them. And they have the pretty artwork for iTunes and colour iPods! w00t! Sorry about the delay! Enjoy. :]